I have been a great fan of KLUELESS. It is a multi-level online game that requires you to solve a sequence of puzzles in order to progress to the next level.
Not only is it fun and addictive, there are times when it is so mind-boggling and frustrating that you will feel like pulling your hair out! It is not unusual to be stuck at a level for hours and then discover that the answer was too simple and very obvious!
For all those who wish to try, here is the link:
http://ahvan.in/ahvan10/klueless6/
I am still stuck on Level 13! Any hints for cracking this level is welcome...And yes, if you get stuck on any of the previous levels, feel free to ask me! You won't get any direct answers but hints - definitely!
The rules are: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors, poets included, who've influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.
I thought it was going to be really easy and turns out, I was right! I did not have much difficulty in coming up with this list. Well, here is my list of favorite authors (not in any particular order):
Enid Blyton: I grew up reading her books. I loved reading the 'Famous Five' series, the 'Mystery' series, 'The Naughtiest Girl', the 'Secret Seven', the 'Adventure' series and her school-stories of St. Clare's and Malory Towers. Her books made me want to go to boarding school so that I could have the same amount of fun and her short stories gave wings to my imagination - I hoped that one day, I, too, would get a Wishing Chair or manage to discover the Faraway Tree! I did believe that toys come alive at night and I think I had a fabulous childhood, a lot, because of her!
Pablo Neruda: I love most of his poems!
Charles Dickens: 'A Tale Of Two Cities' is my favorite all-time classic. "IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
William Shakespeare: I have read almost all his works. I love all his sonnets and most of his plays. "A Midsummer Night's Dream", "Macbeth" and "Tempest" are my favorite works by him. "We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep."
- Prospero, 'The Tempest'.
George Orwell: I loved his work, 'The Animal Farm'. "ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL
BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS."
Bill Watterson: I don't know if he qualifies but I love 'Calvin and Hobbes' - the comic strip and can read them over and over again! Calvin reminds me that I should always keep the child in me alive!
Karl Marx: I am not a communist but I am deeply inspired by a lot of things he wrote, especially his views on religion: "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."
Paulo Coelho: 'Veronica Decides To Die' and 'The Alchemist' completely floored me!
Erich Segal: I have loved all his books. "Doctors" and "The Class" are my favorites. It surprises most people though when I tell them that "Love Story" is not his best work, in my opinion!
Harper Lee: I loved reading "To Kill A Mockingbird" - I enjoyed reading the tale being told by a small girl (Scout) and Atticus Finch was a hero in my opinion! I seriously recommend this book to everyone who has not had a chance to read it!
J.K. Rowling: I became a fan of Harry Potter from the very first book itself! And after each book, the story just kept getting better and better (and the movies started getting from bad to worse)! I am passionately in love with the magical world of Hogwarts!
Khaled Hosseini: I remember reading 'The Kite-Runner' on a flight and crying my heart out! My co-passenger actually asked me if something was wrong! Ha! Ha! I think it is a wonderful story. His second book 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' also is an amazing piece of work!
Mark Twain: As a kid, I enjoyed reading "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" but I think "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" is a much better work!
Roald Dahl: Again, he was one of my favorites! I loved reading most of his stories. My favorite is "Matilda".
Rudyard Kipling: I loved "The Jungle Book" and his poem, "If".
Well, this is my list. I took more than fifteen minutes to come up with this - but that was because I had too many authors in mind and I was not really sure who among them were more deserving to be a part of this prestigious list of fifteen only! Anyone who loves reading books is welcome to take up this tag! I would love to read your list!
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Then, there are some who stay for a little while, leave footprints on our heart; and then, we are never ever the same."
I am a person who is always surrounded by a large group of people. I am friendly and find it easy to get along with almost anybody. A lot of people consider me to be their good friend. They call me when they are in trouble. I am on the guest-list of every party. I still get more than 300 calls on my birthday along with e-mails, cards, letters or wishes on Facebook. BUT I still wonder: how many friends do I have? Sounds absurd, doesn't it? You must be thinking (after reading the description above) that I have tons of friends. I am not quite sure if I do...
People say that friends are people with whom you can share everything. Never in my life have I been able to share each and every aspect of my life with one person! I think I have trust issues and I feel that what I cannot tell everyone, I should tell no one. I know a lot of people's secrets and I keep them! But I find it hard to disclose my secrets even to the ones who confide in me. I have never shared my secrets with anyone. I don't know if it is because I have never met anyone trustworthy or if it is because I have major trust issues! I feel everyone loves gossip and I should not make the mistake of trusting one person because every best friend has another best friend and no one ever keeps things to themselves!
I hate being at home. I find it to be very confining. Therefore, whenever I get a holiday, or if I have an evening off with nothing to do, I easily find company to go out and do something I wish to do but just because I go out with a person for a movie or hang out with a person at a coffee-shop, does that mean I can now call that person a 'friend'? A friend is not just a companion for certain activities which would be boring to do if you were alone...
"A friend is someone who is with you in your good times and your bad times."
I always have people around me to share the good times and join in the celebrations. I have been extremely fortunate and I consider myself to be the luckiest person on the planet *touch wood* because I have not experienced any bad times or devastating times yet. Therefore, these people have never really had to take the test of friendship...I do not have any occasion to doubt them but I also do not have any occasion that can make me proudly declare that my friends have always stuck by my side even during my tough times! So can I give them that certificate so easily?
Till date, no one has ever betrayed my trust because I think I have always played safe and never given that luxury to someone because I have never managed to trust anyone so blindly in the first place. People say I am fun, I am friendly and I am a wonderful person to be around. I have been given a lot of compliments but I think two of the sweetest things that have ever been said to me, are: "You are a gift to those around you."
"No Sapphire, No Friendship. Know Sapphire, Know Friendship."
The best way of having a friend is to be one. I am a good friend and I am sure more than 400 people will certify that but despite knowing and being friends of so many, I am still confused about who are my true friends and who are not.
"A true friend knows you inside out."
I exhibit different sides of my personality to different people. And, like I have already mentioned, I do not share secrets with anyone. Hence, all those who claim to know me only know those things which I have told them or those aspects which I have wanted them to know about. All those people who claim to know me really well also know very little about me.
I know this may seem like an unnecessary rant but should I narrow down my definition of 'friendship' to just include those people I can spend time with, share a few stories, do things I enjoy doing and, after all that, to go back to whatever it is that I am supposed to do? Surely, friendship is more than that...What do you have to say about this?
Lala [Mrs. New Guy] at What?Mermaids? tagged me. I am tagging a few people and even if someone is not tagged but wishes to do this, feel free...
The rules are:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Paste these rules on your blog post.
Respond to the following prompts (in bold).
Tag a few other bloggers at the bottom of the post.
Leave "Tagged You" notices on their blog/Facebook.
Let the person who tagged you know when you've written the post.
1) The best investment you ever made: I think the best investment I ever made was on my laptop. It's been more than four years and it still works fine!
2) If you could have written any book, directed any movie, and composed any song, which three would you pick: I would have loved to be the author of the Harry Potter series. I would have loved being the director of the movie Avatar - I think it was beautifully made! I think John Lennon's 'Imagine' was a beautiful song - I wish I would have composed it!
3) Weirdest quirk:I believe people having the same name have similar personalities!
4) One wish immediately granted: I wish I could more holidays...
5) Most expensive hobby: Travelling! I love exploring new places but it is an expensive hobby!
6) An inexhaustible gift-card at which store:I love reading books...I am a total bookworm! I would love to have an inexhaustible gift-card at Oxford - The Book Store. They have an amazing collection of books!
7) In another lifetime, you’d be:A singer or a detective!
I really like this jingle, "We're The Blackberry Boys". It shows a bunch of guys joined by girls happily dancing and singing, "We're The Blackberry BOYS." It made me wonder: If this same commercial was made but the lyrics were, "We're The Blackberry Gals", how many boys do you think would have readily joined in and sung and danced in this very same manner? I don't think there would have been any, what is your take on this?
We always know what is it that we don't want to do. "I don't want to clean my room."
"I don't want to go visit relatives. They are boring!"
"I don't want to fail my exams."
These are statements each of us uses in everyday, mundane life. Life can be monotonous for a lot of us and nobody wants a monotonous life. We always keep complaining and cribbing about having what we don't want and about not wanting to do a lot of things.
But how many of us actually know what is it that we want? Not many, I believe. You may not want to clean your room and you prefer a neat and tidy room but is that what you want? You don't want to waste your Sunday visiting a bunch of relatives as they bore you to death but do you know what you want to do on that Sunday?
You don't want to fail your exams but is your goal just to pass that exam? What is your goal?
These are questions not many of us ask ourselves. If I give you 1 minute, a pen and a piece of paper and ask you to list all the things that you want, it may seem to be a very easy task but trust me, it's not going to be easy. However, if I repeat the task but ask you to list the things you don't want to do, instead, that task is going to be much easier, I believe! Try it for yourself...
Most of us end up focusing on things we don't want. We never concentrate on the things we want. Most of the times, we are not sure what we want. How can we expect to achieve our goals (wants and desires) when we are only clear about things we don't want? What we want is never the focus of our attention...
We all have heard,
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.
So, today, aspire and want something. Only then will you have a chance of getting it!
Tomorrow, I turn a year older!! Unlike last time, this time I am actually looking forward to my birthday: I shall soon be legally an adult in all the nations of the world! Ha! Ha! Feels good....
Of course, unlike last year, there are no grand-scale celebrations but still I shall try making the most of my birthday...
After having lived 21 years of life with mostly ups and a few downs, I feel thankful. I have achieved a lot of things but I still have 'miles to go'. I am grateful for having a wonderful, supportive family; a lot of true friends who genuinely care a lot about me. I am fortunate enough to have scored well in the academic field and am pursuing something I have always wanted to do.
I hope life continues to shower its blessings on me! I could also do with the good wishes and blessings of all the people who drop in even though am not at all regular anymore - Thank You for all your support and love so far, And I hope you continue being by my side, even if it is in a small way, in the future as well!!
There are no strangers. Only friends you have never met.
No matter how cliched it sounds - this is so true!
It has been almost two months since I joined my new course in a new college in a new city. In this span of two months, I have not really made any new friends. My hectic schedule prevents me from spending quality time to bond with someone new, and catching up with some old friends of mine in the city is how I end up spending all my leisure time. Also, most people in my class are 'nerds' and are, most of the time, immersed in books!
Hence, what happened yesterday was something I never anticipated: During a class, my teacher was talking about traumatic events and how difficult it is for an outsider to truly understand the feelings of a person who witnessed such an incident.
Many of my classmates were reminded of some tough times they had undergone and one girl's experience was so similar to mine that I somehow lost control of my emotions and broke down completely - my wounds were, after all, still fresh as it had happened less than a year ago!
I had never expected my classmates to try so hard to cheer me up and help me calm down. They were all very nice to me. Of course, there were one or two exceptions, but I choose to concentrate only on the perfect things! Yesterday, I realized that all people in my class are basically very good and I should give them a chance and try knowing them better. They may be book-worms and I am not one but I should not hold that against them. Inside, they are all wonderful people who want to help and shower warmth and affection, and be friends...
The most important part of any successful relationship involves being there for each other and being able to share those small inconsequential details of your life with the other person; and when, according to me, one is not able to do that, the distance separating the two of you actually causes a gap in the relationship - something which, if not bridged immediately, could severely affect the relationship.
When someone is away, we miss that person immensely. At first, we may try cheering ourselves up by thinking of the privileges we can enjoy in that person's absence: for example, I don't need to fight with someone for the television remote. I can order pizza and not worry about having to order something you like. But after a while, we tend to focus on all the good times we had with that person and start appreciating them and missing them. So, yes, in a way, distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder.
However, distance hampers the process of effective communication. Even though we live in an era where we can remain in touch without spending a lot of money through Skype, Facebook, e-mails and telephonic conversations, eventually, one does realize that it is not the same as being with that person. I would gladly exchange a two-hour long phone conversation for being with that person for a mere fifteen minutes.
I do not believe in long-distance relationships ever working. Personally, I have never met anyone who has managed to survive a long-distance relationship.
The only scenario where I feel distance is not an issue is with online friends. While referring to online friends, I do not mean random strangers we talk to but in fact, those people whom we have met online yet whom we consider to be an integral part of our lives. These people understand us; we can pour our hearts out to them and sometimes, even tell them secrets we do not feel like sharing with people we know in the 'real world'. The fact that our net-friend lives in probably another city, another country or maybe, even another continent, does not seem to be much of a bother.
However, I feel, even here, distance can affect the friendship:
For example, we often meet our online friends once we have established a good rapport with them and have managed to trust our judgement that this person is worth meeting. If we are very attached to this person and one meet results in another and so on, later, we do not find ourselves wanting to go back to being friends in the virtual world alone...
I feel once we meet people in the real world, we end up having too many expectations and when they cannot live up to those expectations, our relationship takes a toll. While it is good to have hopes, I feel expectations should be minimal.
I have found even the best of my friendships getting hampered by distance...I have never been a person who can settle down at one place. After having moved to three cities, I realize that as I move to a new place, the strong bonds of friendship that I had with the friends in the previous place start weakening. We all keep in touch and are updated about what is happening in everyone's life but it is never ever the same as being there...even in times of crisis, they can never really be there for you although they want to because of the distance. While that is completely understandable and you can convince yourself to not harbor any hard feelings, it is very difficult to actually accept the fact and admit it to yourself that the relationship has undergone a change and it will never be like before...
Based on my experiences, I have developed a somewhat pessimistic attitude and resolved never to become close to anyone because I know that it's not going to be permanent: I am not suggesting that I will be anti-social; just that I will not be getting too attached to anyone because I do not think my relationships can stand the test of distances.
What is your take on this??
This is one To-Do-and-Have-Done List...All the scratched through are the ones that are YET TO BE DONE, as this is more of an 'I have achieved' list rather than an' I have missed things' one. And there's still hope, of having the list completely unscratched, which doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing! I am taking this tag from Guria and anyone reading this post is welcome to carry it forward...
Graduated high school.
Kissed someone.
Smoked a cigarette.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Smoked weed.
Failed a subject.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.(Does Cyclone Aila count?)
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Run a marathon.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day.
Flown on an aeroplane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Got into trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen a book from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Watched the Harry Potter movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you shouldn't have
Used a colouring book over age 12.
Had a surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a Taxi.
Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a pet.
Petted a wild animal.
Had your own credit card & bought something with it.
“The only thing certain about life is death.”
However, we all want to live – no one wishes to die. Perhaps, that is why Pablo Neruda, in his poem, ‘Nothing But Death’ described Death’s face to be green - for death is always jealous of life! We all celebrate birth – we all mourn when someone dies....Grief and pain are nobody’s favourite emotions. But we all have to die one day.
So, why is it that we fear death so much?
Is it a fear of the unknown? Is the fact that no one has ever come back to the land of the living to report what all happens after death a reason for this fear?
The reason why I fear death is because I am scared to imagine what it would be like to not exist anymore. By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired. What if Heaven and Hell are imaginary concepts and in reality, are non-existent? What if all those ghost stories we hear are mere constructions of our imagination and in reality, there are no such things as ghosts or spirits? Would that mean that when I die, I will be reduced to nothing? Even that thought of turning into nothing is terrifying!
I do not fear oblivion. I am sure people will remember me even after I die – I have definitely left an indelible mark on the lives of many people.
But I am scared of not living. What would it be like to not be able to grab the phone and hear the voice of your best friend? What would it be like to not walk down the beach, find a corner and watch the setting sun? What would it be like to not be able to enjoy ice-creams and feast on your favourite pizza?
Even if dead people wander in an alternate universe, parallel to the living, and are capable of visiting the living beings on earth, what’s the point? Even if I am able to see what my friends and family are doing, the fact that I won’t be a part of their lives anymore is not at all a nice feeling. I will not be able to talk to them – any means of communication with them would only freak them out! I would want them to move on with their lives but I am sure I would feel sorry for myself. I may be sounding selfish but I don’t want to be someone who anyone can let go off so easily...
What do you think about death? Do you have the same fears as I do or am I just suffering from a bout of paranoia?
My trip to New Zealand, largely, remained confined to the city of Auckland. There is just so much to see....in order to go sight-seeing, one needs at least a month - I was, sadly, in the country for just 5 days.
We managed to befriend an Indian cab-driver who offered to take us on a day-trip to Rotorua at a highly discounted rate - he even got us heavy discounts on the entry fees to all the major tourist attractions!
Rotorua is an amazing place - I clicked more than 350 photos in that one day - all so beautiful - but alas! I had one blonde moment and accidentally deleted all the photos I had clicked. To add salt to my fresh wounds, my brother ended up damaging the memory-card while attempting to recover the photos!
A good friend of mine has told me that there are people who can fix the damage and am hoping he is right...till then, I decided to write an account of all the wonderful things I saw in order to preserve those beautiful moments. The only thing I am thankful for is the random impulse I had the previous night to store all the photos I already clicked on my laptop - Thank God For Small Mercies! Not all is lost...my photos of Auckland are safe! I know that without photos, writing a travel-account is pretty boring but am going to try my best to not make it too dry! And if I am lucky, maybe I will be able to recover the photos and add them later...
We were told to be up early in the morning so that we could leave by 5:30 AM. The cold and the rains made it impossible for me and my lazy brother to be on time - we started off at 6:00 AM - without any breakfast - and headed for Wai-O-Tapu: The Thermal Wonderland. 'Wai-O-Tapu' means 'Sacred Waters' and it is the largest area of surface thermal activity of any hydrothermal system in the Taupo Volcanic Zone. Since we did not have a lot of time, we were advised to only follow the trail for Walk One and not do all three. The whole area is covered with craters, mud-pools and boiling springs.
As soon as we entered, we saw The Weather Pool which appeared to be grey in colour owing to the cloudy weather and the heavy rains. The craters had very interesting names such as Devil's Home, Rainbow Crater, Thunder Crater, Devil's Ink Pots, Artist's Palette, The Bird's Nest Crater and Devil's Bath. The pungent smell of sulphur is unbearable but as one continues walking, one gets used to it. The yellow-green sulphur deposits can be seen everywhere but this is not always the case- it depends on the concentration of different mineral elements, The Devil's Ink Pots, for instance, have abundant black deposits of carbon and sulphur. One can see smoke rising from the hot springs and geysers all around the area and it is, perhaps, the only place where you will shiver and sweat at the same time! The Sulphur Cave had beautiful formations of sulphur crystals. It started raining heavily, while we were almost at the end of our walk and the slippery ground made me fall while I was trying to open the umbrella that was given to us. Thankfully I did not fall into any chlorine pool - nor was I hurt!
My favorite part about the place was crossing the terrace on the broadwalk and viewing the Artist's Palette, which had mineral deposits in beautiful orange, yellow and blue colours and water overflowing from the Champagne Pool which is the largest hot spring in the area.
We then went to view the mud-pools and the Lady Knox Geyser which erupts daily at approximately 10:15 AM. My brother managed to take a video of this eruption. This is the only geyser which has no Maori name as it was discovered only in the twentieth century. This geyser has two water chambers - the hot lower chamber and the cool upper chamber. This geyser was discovered by a group of prisoners of the Waiotapu open prison and it was they who found that adding soap to the hot spring causes the water to erupt.
We then visited Whakarewarewa which is a thermal village inhabited by the Maoris. The full name of this village is 'Tewhakarewarewatangaoteopetuawahiao' - our tourist-guide spent a good ten minutes trying to get us to pronounce the full name of the village. As soon as one enters the village, one finds a Memorial Archway that bears the name of all those tribal members who lost their lives in the two World Wars. The Maori cultural performance was very entertaining - I especially loved their war-dance which is called 'Haka'. My brother and some other guys got a chance to do the dance along with the Maoris! The Maori women sound beautiful when they sing and the men look scary when they dance with their tongues and eyes protruding out! Before a war, the men danced like that in order to intimidate the enemies and scare them away so that they would not have to fight at all. The village has numerous thermal springs and geysers. The water from these thermal springs is used for bathing, drinking and cooking. The Maori people have their own religion but there are many who have adopted Christianity - there is one Catholic Church as well as one Anglican Church in the village. The dead are buried outside the Churches and all the tombs are on the surface as the unstable, continuous thermal activity makes it impossible for digging graves that must be at least six feet deep.
The Agrodome is a farm in New Zealand which we visited - this was my least favorite place. We saw the sheep shearing process and I found it to be rather cruel! Was feeling very sorry for the sheep...we also saw how the dogs round up the sheep after grazing and a few lucky people got a chance to bottle-feed lambs and milk cows!
The Rainbow Springs Nature Park was our last destination for the day. This was fun! We fed the swans and the fish, saw the kiwi bird and got our photos taken holding the birds in our hand.
After this we said 'Haera Ra' or 'Farewell' to Rotorua and started off for Auckland. It was a fun day but we were tired, sleep-deprived and hungry! Had the accident with the photos not happened, it would indeed have been one perfect day!
First of all, I would like to wish all the people who read my blog a Very Happy New Year! I know these wishes are a little late, but they are truly from the heart! I sincerely hope that the year 2010 brings peace and happiness to all of you!
I am not a person who believes in making New Year Resolutions, primarily because I am never able to keep even one of them! However, this year I did make a resolution which I hope I am able to keep... From this year onwards, I have resolved to stop taking people, especially, my friends for granted. I hope to be more patient with my friends and not let my temper take over. Even if we have a fight, I will ensure that we sort things out at that very moment instead of sleeping over the matter. 2009 made me realize that no matter how hard I try, some things are just not in my hands and I don't know if the time I am spending with my loved one may just happen to be the last time I am seeing him or her. Therefore, I have resolved to ensure that I always part ways with everyone on a good note so that in case we do not get a chance to meet again, I will at least be thankful that we were happy the last time we were together rather than wishing fervently for having the power to turn back time like Hiro Nakamura...
"Debrupa passed away last Saturday. She had brain tumor."
It is always hard to believe that someone you knew is no more in this world. Needless to say, therefore, that this bit of news struck me like a bolt from the blue. She was only 18 years old. She was such a bright girl and we were all sure that she had a very bright future ahead of her! She was sweet and very easy to get along with. I still don't think she is gone. She must be up there somewhere watching us, painting her butterflies.... It was a long time since I had last spoken to her. I often used to find her online on Facebook or Orkut but I was too lazy to start a conversation and talk to her. And now it was too late... Too Late - such awful words! I guess I should really stop taking people for granted now, especially my friends. Unlike the olden days, it is so easy to stay in touch with people now - yet we never seem to be able to maintain our contacts.I wish I could turn time back and tell her of all the things I wanted to...Oh Debrupa! You were there for me when I was completely alone! I shall remember all the happy times we spent together!May Your Soul Rest In Peace!
2nd October, 2009
"Come fast! Mimi hung herself...she is dead!" This news came as a shock to me! Just the other day I had been talking to her. She seemed perfectly fine. In fact, she seemed much happier than she used to be on most days! I reached her place and it was true...she was indeed no more! I don't remember when was the last time I cried as much as I did back then...I was more in shock than in grief. People committing suicide was just something I read about in newspapers or watch on news channels. I have heard of friends telling me how they witnessed a suicide attempt in their neighborhood. But how could someone I know commit suicide?
In India, attempting to commit suicide is a punishable offense. I personally have always felt that suicide should be legalized. One should have the right to end one's life when one feels that life is not worth living or when things are just not working out...We do not have an opportunity to decide whether we want to be born or not nor can we choose the kind of life we wish to lead. Therefore, why can't I end my life if things are not going the way I please? Don't I walk out of the movie-hall when the movie is pathetic? Why can't the same logic be applied to one's life?
Mimi's death, however, left me completely puzzled. I started re-thinking things. The grief I experienced on seeing her dead body or while talking to her parents - I don't remember ever feeling this awful! I still have nightmares and I keep wishing she had just come to me once and told me all that she was going through...Maybe, I could have helped her out! And then I think...she had told me so many things. Perhaps I was just not paying enough attention...Had I been more cautious, I might have been able to see this coming and may have succeeded in putting a stop to this. I wish she had not acted in haste!
No matter how hard I cry and how many tears I shed, she will not come back! Dear Mimi, You came into my life and occupied a special place in my heart - a place that I never knew existed until you arrived....and now you are gone, and that part of me is empty forever!
Getting over Mimi's death was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do....being there and seeing her being cremated was horrifying! It was worse than Debrupa dying - at that time, I was not home and I just received this news over the phone. Besides, Mimi chose to die - Debrupa had no choice! Had it not been for some of my friends, I would probably have ended up remaining a nervous wreck! I don't think I can ever thank them enough for being there for me when I desperately needed them!
Today, I do not take any of my friends for granted. I have even stopped fighting with some of them - I am scared that I might just not get an opportunity to make up. When my friends come to me with their problems, I do not have a very casual attitude anymore. This incident taught me a lot but I wish there was some other way I could have learnt these lessons....
Every night, as I lie in bed, I think of the day I have spent. I do not even think that I do it consciously anymore. They come flashing back...those memories...like a train hurtling through the darkness. Those moments are when the only one you have left to answer to, is yourself...
It is at those moments that you think of witty (belated) replies to caustic remarks...when what could have been is felt as sharply as what had actually been. Those moments, which relive other more painful moments, when the crimson taint of embarrassment refused to leave my cheeks, as I stumbled my way through an instance which I hope so very dearly, will never ever repeat itself again. And it is then, I think, with every human trait within me...what if?...what if she hadn't?...what if I could have?...what if?...and then amidst that silence, the familiar heat flushing my cheeks....a fervent prayer...”Please, please let it never happen again...let me never have to go through that again.”
And then there are the others. All of a sudden, I feel a familiar sharp stab of pain, right between my lungs...where I had always imagined your heart to be. The power of a sentence that had perhaps been uttered in a thoughtless feel of impatience...that had seemed to strike me at my very core. And I lie there, and think up six different retorts, each more venomous than the next. And it is then that I feel it...the soothing wave of darkness washing over my bruised ego...and the forgiveness of the silence. This time I close my eyes...and in my mind, stretch out my hand for help, “Please show me a way out.”
Those moments have a peculiarly naked quality to them. I are stripped of every defense that I have tirelessly spent my life creating. The most tangible and passionate feeling of all - anger - is ever felt, quite as sharply, as it is then, in the silence. A part of me blames bitterly the unresponsive silence...a reproach without reason...”Was there another way out?”...Is this then, what I deserve?...Is there all there is to life? Is this real?...and then, “WHY?...Why her?...Why me?” And the barrier shatters and the tears come...and with them, a gentle easing of my burden.
Then there are the sweetest moments of all...when the silence seems to savor along with you...and celebrate with you in shared joy. Those are moments when with rock-bound faith, you thank the darkness of the night with all of your being...because it is that familiar darkness, that wonderful silence which has been your raincoat during the downpour and your crutch through the twisted ankles. There is no further, a sense of the unknown, as you are filled with a grateful joy...at having, once again....been blessed.
Guilt is my least favorite emotion. Guilt is which you cannot be at peace with yourself, when you cannot ignore the possibility of being wrong...and when you cannot look someone in the eye. This guilt surfaces, with surprising clarity, within that timeless silence. The same silence you feel surrounding you at the moment you enter a calm and serene place. This is my silence, and here, there is no escape, no denials...and no room for turning away.
Over the years, I seem to have acquired so far, a peculiar impassivity to emotional stress and pain. It's as though you have this invisible shoulder to cry on. My moments in the dark and that silence to which I bare my soul...and that is the truth...that is, my shoulder.
Last night, I watched "Dasvidaniya" with my brother. Though this movie released quite sometime back, it was only yesterday that I managed to watch it. I liked the movie a lot as it told a simple story in a very beautiful manner ...It is the story of a simple guy (Vinay Pathak) who leads a very boring, mundane life. He seems to have no wishes and no aspirations of his own. Others take advantage of him. However, one day he is diagnosed of stomach cancer and comes to know that he just has a few more months to live. On learning this, he decides to actually live his life and makes a list of ten things he wishes to do before he dies and succeeds in accomplishing them all!
The movie really got me thinking: When we are small, we always have big dreams about the things we wish to do when we grow-up. However, when we actually grow up, we become so engrossed in our day-to-day lives, with its drudgery, that we actually forget about our list of "Things To Do". Why is it that only when we are convinced that death is imminent, do we actually want to live? We all know that death is an inevitable part of life, but why do we need to be reminded of that in order to make life a worth-while experience?
Here is my list of the Top 10 Things I Wish To Do Before I Die:
Travel the world.
Teach - I feel the true purpose of everyone's life is to touch the lives of others in a way that could never have been achieved before, and teaching/educating children is my way of achieving my purpose of life!
I have always wanted to do something about social and world issues. I wish I can fulfill this desire someday.
Fall in love...just once with the right person!
Be happily married!
Live in a place far away from the hustle and bustle of city-life - preferably, by the sea. But I do wish to have access to all the modern amenities!
Be a successful psychologist.
Learn to cook.
Get rid of my acrophobia.
Take up writing professionally.
Well, I hope to achieve them all someday...what is your list of the ten things you want to do before you die? Do make one - it helps you from forgetting your purpose in life!
"And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened." - Douglas Couplan When we are young, we always see the world through rose-colored glasses. We think everything around is absolutely perfect. However, as we grow up, we realize there are many things which just look good in story-books or in movies... In real life, "honesty is not the best policy" nor does "truth always triumph". The whole concept of a "happily ever after" existed only "once upon a time" when we were small...
When we grow up, we are burdened with so many responsibilities. We do not even have the time to do things we like and we end up doing things which we never wanted to do in the first place! There are times when we realize that we are actually at a dead end but we still remain in that place and don't make a U-Turn because taking the whole road back and starting from scratch does not seem to be a very comfortable idea. Teenagers are always called 'rebellious' but being passionate and standing up for things we truly believe in does not seem wrong to me. As we grow up, we sober down and conform to what society wants us to be - and end up killing our individuality. The other day I was reading the book Veronika Decides to Die by Paul Coelho - there was one part which struck me...as a mental patient in an asylum, one is free to say what one wants; one can do what they want - they will never be criticized - but once we are outside, we have to behave in a certain way, think before speaking and we cannot do something just because we feel like doing it!
There are many times my mother tells me "You are growing up now. Behave like a lady." I am sure all of us have heard such dialogues from our elders at some point of time or the other. I find it exasperating! Just because I am growing up I do not have to stop liking the things I liked before! As I grow up, I realize I just want to be the little girl I was - away from the harsh realities of life! I do not want to be moulded into someone I am not...I just hope this world lets me be...
20 days left for me to turn twenty years old!!!
When I was younger, birthdays were always something I looked forward to! The balloons, the cake, the streamers, the presence of my near and dear ones, the gifts...
However, now, as I turn a year older on each birthday, I somehow start dreading the fact that I am getting older!
I was not at all happy on my nineteenth birthday - even though I did have a lot of fun with friends...
Turning 20 is scarier!
The fact that I will never be a teenager anymore is terrifying!
It may seem like an exaggeration, but I really feel that way.
As we grow up, we are expected to become responsible - I am not really sure if I am ready for it! True, it also means being able to do what I want...not having to ask permission from parents all the time, but I would rather have it that way than have an extra candle on my birthday cake!
I am trying to cheer myself up by throwing a big bash on my birthday with all my friends. Most of them have already had their twentieth birthday, and some are twenty-one years old, so a small part of me is happy that I am still younger than most of my peers!
But there is still a large part of me who wants all the celebrations to happen but still remain nineteen!
I know I wish for a lot of things - I don't think I would mind if this one came true!
More About This Tag: The idea is to list five items in each category and not necessarily in order of liking.You can always add or subtract categories according to your will.Then tag five People...
5 THINGS I SAY A LOT...
Whatever!
Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God!
What a waste!
Eew!
I don't know...
5 CELEBRITY CRUSHES OF MINE...
Rupert Grint
Brad Pitt
Neil Nitin Mukesh
John Abraham
Rannvijay (MTV)
5 FAVORITE RANDOM THINGS
Rain!
Earrings
Teddy Bears
Story Books
Hot Chocolate
5 FAVORITE LITERARY CHARACTERS
Don Quixote ("Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes).
Miss Marple (created by Agatha Christie).
Marc Antony ("Julius Caesar" by William Shakespeare).
Puck ("A Midsummer Night's Dream" by William Shakespeare).
It is the wish of every student to experience the fun of bunking classes! I don't think there is any student in this world who has never ever missed even one class!
Many of us try to bunk classes in school. If luck is on our side and we succeed, we can boast of our courage at being successful in breaking the rules and skipping the boring lectures; and if we are ill-fated and get caught, we are doomed! When I was in school, I have bunked quite a few times - and I especially engaged in group bunking. One fine day, me and my gang of friends would decide to skip school and stay at home. It was fun! However, back in school we had to make our parents sign a note stating the reason for our absence - and what was often a tricky business! While my parents had no issues with me staying back at home if I did not feel like going, many of my friends' parents were not so liberal and my friends often got into trouble for not attending classes! Once we all got caught bunking assembly -and we landed ourselves in detention!
Once we step into college, rules are more relaxed! We are free to bunk as much as we want - but at the end of the year, we need to have at least 85% attendance in order to be able to write our exams. No one wants to know why you did not attend class - if you don't attend, you do not get attendance! The fear of getting caught bunking is absent, which makes the whole affair not so thrilling! Therefore, bunking in college is not as much fun as it used to be in school. Initially, it was nice to skip one or two classes and watch a movie - but it did not feel the same as bunking in school: because out here, we were not really breaking any rules! However, in college - mass bunking is the fun thing to do. One fine day, the whole class decides that none of them are going to attend any class...however, mass bunking has its risks and it is a very difficult thing to do. For one, not all are ready to bunk - there are many who have attendance shortage and want to come to class. Secondly, we may land ourselves into a lot of trouble. However, one finds solace in the fact that one is not alone and is with all his or her friends. In order to engage in a successful mass bunk, the CR or class representative must ensure that the entire class does not turn up. He or she is always the scape-goat because in case something goes wrong, he or she must be able to provide the authorities with suitable explanation! One must keep in mind that the class also consists of a few studious, unwanted elements who may try getting everyone into trouble and foil the master-plan of mass bunking by complaining to the teachers! Keeping these people in check is integral in order to be successful in carrying out a mass-bunk!
All in all, I feel that bunking is an art and an essential part of every student's life. It is fun as long as it is not done very frequently. As students, we should all skip classes at some point of time or the other and sit back and enjoy life!
I am a 21 year old girl - relatively new to Mother Earth. If I consider myself to be a piece of cloth, I find patterns woven in it in every conceivable colour. Shades of grey dance hand in hand with red, yellow and blue threads. Each pattern, each colour defines an incident, an emotion, a bit of myself...
Behind every life there is a story. This is my story. It is not over. I'm still writing because in the end, our stories will far out-live us as our greatest legacies. This space is like my alter ego because out here, I am going to exhibit the hidden sides to my personality. I intend to write about everything that interests me. You may find me to be a little strange; but then aren't we all, in some way or another? I can just hope that you keep an open-mind...
