Sunday, July 5, 2009

Crying Is For The Weak?

"I will not cry. I am going to be brave."

This is something I often tell myself in order to stop myself from crying.

As a kid, I was physically not so strong. However, I was very enthusiastic and never refrained myself from joining the others in their match of kabaddi or other games. Whenever I would get hurt badly, I would cry. Needless to say that in the long run, I earned the reputation of being a 'cry-baby'. I hated it!
One day, I made a promise to myself that I would never cry again in front of anyone and I was quite successful in doing so. My parents have now seen me crying only once in many long years and the last time I cried in front of them was at my uncle's funeral - and crying on such an occasion is "socially acceptable".

Nowadays one often hears that it is the brave who cry as they are strong enough to let their emotions show. But how true is that?
My friend was crying because her boyfriend was leaving town and the entire time, she kept apologizing for the tears that were streaming down her face.

We have all been socially conditioned to believe that it is not good to cry. Men, especially, are always told that 'crying is for women'. Why is it so? Don't they have the freedom to release their emotional pain?

I admit that I am not very good around people when they are crying. Crying in front of people attracts a lot of unwanted attention. Most people are not really interested in comforting you. They are just curious to know why you are crying, which is why I prefer crying when I am all by myself. I don't like explaining myself to anyone when I am upset.

Crying makes me feel better. Once I have shed tears, I feel like I can just let the pain go and move on. Crying helps me vent out all my frustration and anger and holding back, just aggravates it. Therefore, I would just like to tell everyone that it is extremely normal to cry and whenever, they feel like, they should just cry away.


Gabri said...

you're so right! :) crying helps so much, and is a thing you do on your own and by youself, no need of external consolation. Emotions should never be stopped to outlet; but as you remarked it isn't socially accepted and you have to clarify the reason why ;( bleh

Sapphire said...

Yup - when you are down in the dumps, no one can really comfort you. Simply saying "I know how you are feeling." never really has helped me.
When I am sad, I prefer being all by myself and shedding tears because I feel so light after I have cried.


indeed...that is why james thorogood prefers to drink by himself. i am intrigued that one so young has such good control of the lanuage and such clarity of perception. One of the most moving passages in the Christian Bible is, "Jesus wept."

Lee Spangler said...

I seem to cry when I have experienced grief... a different emotion than saddness about a personal situation.

Ellen said...

Hi Sapphire! I like this piece. True I don't fancy public display of emotions too... rather cry on my pillow in the middle of the night. It's just between me and my God. :-)

Take care. God bless you and your family.

Sapphire said...

Thanks so much for your comments :) I am not acquantained with that particular passage in the Bible - will read it when I get the opportunity :)

@Lee Spangler
Crying is nothing but an expression of grief. Sadness - I don't really cry all the time when I am sad. I just feel low...Grief and Sadness are often used as synonyms but they vary in intensity, I guess.

Thanks :) Like I said, I'd rather cry alone than in front of a crowd of people. But even that again is something we are socially conditioned to. I mean none of us mind laughing and celebrating in front of a group - we only shy away when it is grief, because we have been taught to think that crying in public is wrong.

Gratitude said...

Hi Sapphire.

Thanks to your comments about MJ,
and I really like your blog,this one
is very well-written. And made me realized
how people have different yet creative
opinion about something.
I totally agree that crying helps me too in a big way...but I have one experienced in a grocery store (here in U.S.)I was extremely sad, missing home, huge fights with hubby etc..
I was surprised
how people are so comforting. But of course,
its always depends where you at and some other
things....they just ask me if I am ok. Ask me
if I need water or something.that's all.

But I was just surprise about some people's
kindness, but I also PREFER to cry alone.
I want it to be between me and my loving God..

thanks and you take care :)

Sapphire said...

Thanks so much for liking my blog :)
A woman crying in public is still acceptable but if a man does it, it is generally considered a form of 'abnormality'. Sad, but true....
People are kind :) It would be wrong to assume that you won't be comforted when you are sad because you are crying in front of people but sometimes, you are sad...your world seems to have shattered - at that time, you don't want people around you. They may be trying to help, but there are many times I don't want their help/sympathy.

Take Care!

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