Let's Talk Of Distances

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

Really?

The most important part of any successful relationship involves being there for each other and being able to share those small inconsequential details of your life with the other person; and when, according to me, one is not able to do that, the distance separating the two of you actually causes a gap in the relationship - something which, if not bridged immediately, could severely affect the relationship. 

When someone is away, we miss that person immensely. At first, we may try cheering ourselves up by thinking of the privileges we can enjoy in that person's absence: for example, I don't need to fight with someone for the television remote. I can order pizza and not worry about having to order something you like. But after a while, we tend to focus on all the good times we had with that person and start appreciating them and missing them. So, yes, in a way, distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder.

However, distance hampers the process of effective communication.  Even though we live in an era where we can remain in touch without spending a lot of money through Skype, Facebook, e-mails and telephonic conversations, eventually, one does realize that it is not the same as being with that person. I would gladly exchange a two-hour long phone conversation for being with that person for a mere fifteen minutes. 

I do not believe in long-distance relationships ever working. Personally, I have never met anyone who has managed to survive a long-distance relationship.
The only scenario where I feel distance is not an issue is with online friends. While referring to online friends, I do not mean random strangers we talk to but in fact, those people whom we have met online yet whom we consider to be an integral part of our lives. These people understand us; we can pour our hearts out to them and sometimes, even tell them secrets we do not feel like sharing with people we know in the 'real world'. The fact that our net-friend lives in probably another city, another country or maybe, even another continent, does not seem to be much of a bother.
However, I feel, even here, distance can affect the friendship:

For example, we often meet our online friends once we have established a good rapport with them and have managed to trust our judgement that this person is worth meeting. If we are very attached to this person and one meet results in another and so on, later, we do not find ourselves wanting to go back to being friends in the virtual world alone...

I feel once we meet people in the real world, we end up having too many expectations and when they cannot live up to those expectations, our relationship takes a toll. While it is good to have hopes, I feel expectations should be minimal. 

I have found even the best of my friendships getting hampered by distance...I have never been a person who can settle down at one place. After having moved to three cities, I realize that as I move to a new place, the strong bonds of friendship that I had with the friends in the previous place start weakening. We all keep in touch and are updated about what is happening in everyone's life but it is never ever the same as being there...even in times of crisis, they can never really be there for you although they want to because of the distance. While that is completely understandable and you can convince yourself to not harbor any hard feelings, it is very difficult to actually accept the fact and admit it to yourself that the relationship has undergone a change and it will never be like before...

Based on my experiences, I have developed a somewhat pessimistic attitude and resolved never to become close to anyone because I know that it's not going to be permanent: I am not suggesting that I will be anti-social; just that I will not be getting too attached to anyone because I do not think my relationships can stand the test of distances.
What is your take on this??

The Virtual World

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

We all have friends. Friends we made in school, in college, at work...
However, we all seem to be so busy in our everyday life that we hardly have time to meet up with our friends very frequently. When we go to college, we make new friends and we do not have time to meet our old school-friends. We move on with our new life and perhaps talk to them only to wish them on special occasions - sometimes, not even that! Sometimes we move to a new city and it becomes very difficult for us to be in touch with all our old friends even though there are so many social networking sites these days.
Apart from these friends, we also have online friends. People with whom we have some common interest - we are members of the same Yahoo! Group or the same discussion-forum or we blog on the same site...
We exchange e-mails with some of them and try to know the other person better. Some make it to our Messenger lists, and with a few of them, we get close enough to exchange phone numbers and have regular conversations.
I have met many of my virtual friends in real life and I don't regard them as just my online friends anymore. They have become an integral part of my life. My two best friends are people I met online and we have been friends now for more than 4 years.

A few years back, if someone told me that they were meeting online friends, I would have assumed that the person has no friends in real life. Today, I think very differently.
I will not say that I don't regret any net-friendship. There were 3 that were not very great experiences. But there are so many online friends with whom I have had some wonderful experiences.

It is often said that we find it easier to confide in people who are complete strangers because they do not judge us as they do not know us. This is very true, according to me. On the down-side, as your net-friend becomes a very good friend of your's and he/she is not just another person online, one tends to stop being as open as one was before.

Friends are people who occupy a special place in your heart - a place which never even existed before. When they leave, that place remains empty forever and no one can fill that space because no two individuals are alike. Every person is unique and it is never really possible to replace someone.
Online friendship is truly a gift of technology. We should treasure them and not let them slip away. Friendship, virtual or real, is a gift and it must be cherished.