"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Then, there are some who stay for a little while, leave footprints on our heart; and then, we are never ever the same."
I am a person who is always surrounded by a large group of people. I am friendly and find it easy to get along with almost anybody. A lot of people consider me to be their good friend. They call me when they are in trouble. I am on the guest-list of every party. I still get more than 300 calls on my birthday along with e-mails, cards, letters or wishes on Facebook.
BUT I still wonder: how many friends do I have?
Sounds absurd, doesn't it? You must be thinking (after reading the description above) that I have tons of friends. I am not quite sure if I do...
People say that friends are people with whom you can share everything. Never in my life have I been able to share each and every aspect of my life with one person! I think I have trust issues and I feel that what I cannot tell everyone, I should tell no one. I know a lot of people's secrets and I keep them! But I find it hard to disclose my secrets even to the ones who confide in me. I have never shared my secrets with anyone. I don't know if it is because I have never met anyone trustworthy or if it is because I have major trust issues! I feel everyone loves gossip and I should not make the mistake of trusting one person because every best friend has another best friend and no one ever keeps things to themselves!
I hate being at home. I find it to be very confining. Therefore, whenever I get a holiday, or if I have an evening off with nothing to do, I easily find company to go out and do something I wish to do but just because I go out with a person for a movie or hang out with a person at a coffee-shop, does that mean I can now call that person a 'friend'? A friend is not just a companion for certain activities which would be boring to do if you were alone...
"A friend is someone who is with you in your good times and your bad times."
I always have people around me to share the good times and join in the celebrations. I have been extremely fortunate and I consider myself to be the luckiest person on the planet *touch wood* because I have not experienced any bad times or devastating times yet. Therefore, these people have never really had to take the test of friendship...I do not have any occasion to doubt them but I also do not have any occasion that can make me proudly declare that my friends have always stuck by my side even during my tough times! So can I give them that certificate so easily?
Till date, no one has ever betrayed my trust because I think I have always played safe and never given that luxury to someone because I have never managed to trust anyone so blindly in the first place. People say I am fun, I am friendly and I am a wonderful person to be around. I have been given a lot of compliments but I think two of the sweetest things that have ever been said to me, are:
"You are a gift to those around you."
"No Sapphire, No Friendship. Know Sapphire, Know Friendship."
The best way of having a friend is to be one. I am a good friend and I am sure more than 400 people will certify that but despite knowing and being friends of so many, I am still confused about who are my true friends and who are not.
"A true friend knows you inside out."
I exhibit different sides of my personality to different people. And, like I have already mentioned, I do not share secrets with anyone. Hence, all those who claim to know me only know those things which I have told them or those aspects which I have wanted them to know about. All those people who claim to know me really well also know very little about me.
I know this may seem like an unnecessary rant but should I narrow down my definition of 'friendship' to just include those people I can spend time with, share a few stories, do things I enjoy doing and, after all that, to go back to whatever it is that I am supposed to do? Surely, friendship is more than that...What do you have to say about this?